A Christian marriage is a relationship between two people formed and lived out in God's presence and in the discernment of God's will. The wedding ceremony is the liturgical expression of that relationship. The wedding is a worship service of joy and thanksgiving which includes the public exchange of vows and the proclamation of God's blessing. The Book of Common Prayer states, "Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God."  The Vestry has adopted  this policy to provide guidance for weddings performed at St. Matthew’s. 

Weddings at St. Matthew’s: Those who come to the Church seeking God's blessing on their relationship should do so with a clear intention of maintaining an active participation in the life of the Church.  The Book of Common Prayer and the canons of the Church clearly indicate that marriages solemnized in the Church should continue to be nurtured within the community of the Church.  The ceremony is performed in the presence of the church community who are witnesses to the vows made before God and who promise to do all in their power to uphold the couple in their marriage.  We believe that this support from a faith community is important in helping the relationship to thrive. For these reasons, only those persons who are members of St. Matthew’s, or who are in the process of becoming members, may be married in the church.  The Rector, at her sole discretion, may make exceptions to this policy.

Declaration of Intention: Couples seeking to be married at St. Matthew’s must express their intention by submitting the following declaration which states the nature of a Christian marriage:

                We, _____________________________  and __________________________________,

desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a lifelong union of husband and wife as it is set forth in The Book of Common Prayer. We believe that the union of husband and wife, in heart, body and mind, is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. And we do engage ourselves, so far as in us lies to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God’s help thereto. 

Couples seeking to be married should contact the Rector and provide this declaration as early as possible, and in no case less than 90 days before the anticipated day of the wedding. 

Premarital Counseling:  The Episcopal Church requires preparation for marriage, usually referred to as "premarital counseling."  The Rector will generally schedule at least four meetings with the couple for this purpose.  On occasion, the Rector may require that the couple meet with a professional marriage and family counselor.  Couples must be aware that, very rarely, issues that surface during these sessions may lead them to change their plans or lead the Rector to decline to solemnize the marriage.

Marriage of Divorced Persons:  In the Episcopal Church, canon law requires that the Bishop of the diocese give consent to the marriage of anyone who has been divorced.  Divorced persons wishing to be married at St. Matthew’s must submit an Application for Episcopal Consent to Solemnization of Marriage after Divorce, which may be obtained online.  Normally, this consent is not granted unless the person has been divorced for at least one year. 

Marriage License:  The marriage license must be presented to the Rector no later than one week before the day of the wedding.  The wedding cannot be performed without a license.  In Ramsey County, there is a five day waiting period between the day a license application is submitted and the day it may be picked up.  The license may be used within a six month period.  The fee is normally $110, but may be reduced to $40 if a couple has received 12 hours of premarital education, which may include the counseling provided by the Rector. 

Date & Time of the Wedding: Weddings are customarily held on Saturdays, with the time of the ceremony between 10:00 AM and 4:00 PM.  Dates are scheduled on a first-come first-served basis.  St. Matthew’s does not schedule weddings during Lent and Holy Week except in extraordinary circumstances.

The Marriage Service  Marriage is a sacrament of the Church and takes place in the context of worship. As in every service of the Church, the officiating priest is charged by canon law with the final responsibility for determining the appropriateness of all arrangements and details.  At the couple's request, the Rector may invite an Episcopal priest from another parish or a clergy person from another denomination to assist in the ceremony.

The Liturgy:  The Episcopal Church is a liturgical church, and, as such, worship services are defined by The Book of Common Prayer, and normally include a liturgical procession, with a crucifer leading the wedding party and clergy. The rubric for The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage shall be followed.

Communion:  A celebration of the Holy Eucharist is usually included in the service.  However, with the approval of the officiating priest, the Eucharist may be omitted if so desired by the couple.  When the Holy Eucharist is celebrated as a part of the marriage ceremony, all baptized Christians will be invited to share in the sacrament.

Lay Eucharistic Ministers:  Licensed Eucharistic ministers from St. Matthew’s or other parishes are welcome to assist. Requests for particular individuals to assist should be made to the officiating priest.

Readers:   At St. Matthew’s, it is customary that the lessons from the Old Testament and the Epistles be read by lay persons. They may practice the readings at the wedding rehearsal.

Acolytes:  Family and friends who have been trained as acolytes are welcome to serve in this capacity.

Music: If music during the service is desired, the couple must contact the Director of Music for a music consultation at least one month before the wedding.  The Director will work with the couple in the selection of music for the organ, and will play at all weddings with music.  In keeping with the understanding of the wedding as a sacramental rite of the Church, music selection is limited to sacred music. Music is provided only at those points in the service designated by the rubrics in the Book of Common Prayer. The Music Director’s services are included in the comprehensive fee for weddings, described below. There is no fee reduction if the couple desires to have music provided by an organist other than the Music Director

Decorations and Flowers:   The general principle to keep in mind is that a wedding is a worship service in which we seek to worship God with beauty and simplicity. Extravagant decorations are not necessary to create an atmosphere of joy and celebration. The only flowers permitted at a wedding are two vases of altar flowers.  The Parish Secretary or a member of the Altar Guild can provide contact information of a florist familiar with the expectations of St. Matthew’s.  No tape may be used in the nave, narthex, or parish hall.

The Altar and Aisle. The liturgical color for a wedding is white, the color of joy and celebration, and altar dressings will reflect this.  Pews reserved for families of the couple will be marked at the front of the sanctuary.  Aisle runners are hazardous and shall not be used.  If a candlelit service is desired, the church has torches available that may be placed at the aisle ends of the pews. 

Photography:  We at St. Matthew’s recognize that the wedding couple wants to preserve visual images of this moment.  However, we must insist that the dignity and reverence of the service be maintained, and that the experience of worship not be compromised. For this reason, no flash photography is allowed in the church during the entire marriage service.  A stationary video camera may be set up to record the ceremony, as long as no additional lighting or external microphones are required. 

Rehearsal:  The purpose of the wedding rehearsal is to give the wedding party the opportunity to become familiar with the service ahead which will enable them to be at ease during the worship service. The couple will participate fully in the rehearsal. The officiating priest is responsible for the actual conduct of the rehearsal.  Wedding rehearsals are normally held on the day before the wedding. The rehearsal will take about an hour. The entire service, including ushering in of relatives and the entrance procession, will be rehearsed. Therefore, it is important for all members of the wedding party to attend and for everyone to be on time.

Receptions:  When available, the Undercroft/Parish Hall may be reserved for wedding receptions and should be requested at the same time as use of the church is arranged. The Brother Lawrence Guild may be available to provide catering services for the reception. Please refer to St. Matthew’s Building Use Policy for information. 

Guest Book:  A guest book may be displayed and signed in the narthex before the wedding.

Rice, Confetti, Bird Seed, Balloons and Bubbles: There are environmental and safety concerns about all these celebratory items except bubbles.   Rice, confetti and bird seed are not to be thrown at or on the wedding couple on church property.  Balloons are not to be used.  Bubbles may be used out of doors only. 

Comprehensive Wedding Fee:  Rather than subjecting couples to a smorgasbord of options and a litany of fees, St. Matthew’s has established a comprehensive wedding fee that incorporates the clergy honorarium, altar guild services, music, custodial and other services. Currently, this fee is $900.  If the couple is not a member of St. Matthew’s, the comprehensive fee is $1200. Torches for a candlelight service are the only option, available for an additional fee of $150.